It was the best of times....and the worst of times...

You better sit down. It's been a while, and I have A LOT to say, no-seriously. A big road trip with the kiddos and when I say road trip-it was more like a National Lampoon vacation. Are you ready? Comfy yet? Because I am NOT EXAGGERATING when I tell you this tale. IF you are still with me, here goes....

I was born in a little town in Ohio. My extended family lives there. We try to get together at east twice a year depending on how life is at the moment. Well, this town goes all out for the 4th of July. When I was little, I remember they even painted red, white, and blue stars on the street. There were yards/houses decorated with huge American flags, a parade that started with a loud BOOM! Marching bands played, cheerleaders yelled, there were fire engines, police cars, horses, and candy thrown in all decorations. It is memories like these that make this my favorite holiday. We try to go up every year, however, the past couple of years we haven't been able to go.

This year would be different. Not only did we have a reliable car to make it, we had two kiddos in tow. Finally my children would be able to experience this tradition that I had always dreamed for them, and best of all, we would be with our family. I mustn't get ahead of myself though, for I must explain that one of our responsibilities is to pick up a stash of fireworks to shoot off at my cousin's house. This being said, let the real story begin....

"I say, let's just relax, and take our time." says Kris when we are trying to make a plan when to leave. "Are you sure?" I ask all antsy. I have a hard time "going with the flow" on big things like this since we have had kids. "It'll be great." he says as we pull out of the driveway. We head to my sister's house (did I tell you she is pregnant? And due January 3rd? And is showing and has the cutest belly you ever did see?). It's about a 2 hour drive, pretty uneventful if you don't try to picture the four of us in the cab of the truck with Obi on my lap (my 85 lb dog!!) All I could do was laugh, we looked hilarious. We arrived at my sister's house and Kris then drove to Sevierville to drop Obi off with Grandma Raisor for a few days (thank you again, we love you!) By the time he came back the kiddos were asleep and again we were going to relax and go with the flow on our trip.

The next day we left around 8:30. We were trucking along, Kris at the wheel, me in the passenger seat, kiddos in the back. We are singing, laughing, Kris is on the phone with his work. We stopped to buy fireworks (A LOT of fireworks). "Will they be all right in the back of our truck?" I ask the lady at the store. "Sure, as long as they don't get wet, THAT will ruin them." We load up the truck and away we go. Just before we get to Lexington traffic stops. Kris yells, "I think there is a bear in the middle of the interstate!!" We look and get closer, no-it's not a bear, it's a.....

That truck was pulling in the middle to try and wrangle the cow. The cow runs across the road and tries to climb up the mountain. I think she succeeded.

We stopped in Lexington as the dark clouds were rolling in, played at a Chick-fil-a/catch a disease playground that you could tell hadn't been cleaned in a while so yes we did wipe Abram's feet with sanitizer (as well as washed his hands). We ended up putting all of the fireworks in the cab. In between car seats, in between Kris and I, and under my legs so that they wouldn't get rained on. On with the drive.....

We are 30 something miles outside Cincinnati when Kris says, "Beth, why don't you go to sleep, I know you're tired." Knowing that my husband's sense of direction is......well let's just say he does not possess an "internal compass" I debated whether or not I should do this. But I figure-all you have to do is stay on 75 right? So I fall asleep for 30 MINUTES only to wake up on interstate 64, in Louisville!!! Louisville is NOT on the way to Cincinnati, in fact-if you take a "detour" to Louisville you end up 2 hours out of the way!! I called my cousin and we got directions, finally got on 71. Pick up speed when this happens........

Not only were we pulled over, and not only were we surrounded by explosives, apparently KRIS WAS DRIVING ON A SUSPENDED LICENSE!!!!!!!!! He got a ticket for expired tags over a year ago (on his company truck) his work was supposed to pay for it, but apparently there was a miscommunication and they didn't. SO Kris has been unknowingly driving with a suspended license. The officer tells us we need to pay the ticket right then. We dig through all of the cash we had, THEN because we had passed the closest exit, and the next was 9 miles away, Kris had to RIDE IN THE BACK OF THE COP CAR to go and fill out a money order, while I WAS LEFT ON THE SIDE OF THE INTERSTATE WITH THE KIDS!! One who was screaming, the other yelling "I have to go POTTY!!!!!!!!!" I yank out the frog potty, put it in the front seat, while singing to Reese, for Abram to sit on it on the potty and look at me to say, "Mommy, whatchoo thinkin' about?" No I did not answer, "Actually honey, I am thinking that I hope a pervert/murderer doesn't pull over and kill us." Instead I say, "Let's say a prayer that will be protected and that Daddy will get back soon. And seriously, you need to pee." Kris returns and tells me that he could have been ARRESTED but the officer let him go, and said, "My advice? Don't drive." Finally, after what was supposed to be a 6 hour trip, that turned out to be a 12 hour trip we made it. And I almost cried.

After that drama we had a great week. Kate (my cousin's daughter) and Abram were reunited, we had a blast, had a girls spa day, almost had to take Abram to the ER, went to Mongolian BBQ, Kris shot fireworks out of his pants, Matt got hit in the eye with a firework, got to see both sides of my family, we also got to celebrate my cousin Susan having a baby (in a month) with a shower, and our trip home-other than Abram throwing up in the car-was undramatic and ended up being MUCH shorter than the trip up. Here are some highlights:

and a couple of cute videos:


Kate and Abram figuring out they echo...


Should I admit that this is my 31 year old husband???

I didn't think so either.

It was one crazy, emotional, fun week. I miss them already and can't wait to meet up again!